Why hello, world of LJ. Tonight, or this morning, you will be the subjects of my ramblings that I just need to get out there.  So I suppose this is more for me than for you, but if you happen upon it, maybe you could give your opinion.

I suppose this is just what happens when you're going through a difficult moment in your life. Though this isn't necessarily a very difficult moment. But it's tough enough to make me talk to my ceiling and cry in confusion. Which makes me sound like a crazy person, which I suppose I am a bit. But as someone who is a theatre major that hasn't done much theatre-ing, I recently got a call that made me wonder more about this.

First, I should explain what I mean about being a theatre major that hasn't done much theatre-ing.  The school I go to seems to have a faculty that casts mainly the same people over and over.  I haven't been cast in a show, despite my attempts. Of course, I was a Business major until halfway through my fourth semester. So the fall of '08 was my first full semester as a theatre major.  I've been trying, but to no avail. Another difficulty for me is that the main people in the theatre department all seem to have a group that doesn't much like to include new people.  Sure they will if there are some freshmen or transfers they like.  But for me, I'm just a bit too different, I guess.  They're nice enough people, but we don't really talk that often, and most of them just don't seem to make too much of an effort to get to know me any better.  So I went from a business major to a theatre performance major, to just a theatre studies major.  And I'm somewhat looking forward to my last year here (besides the capstone paper I'm writing and the fact that I'll also be taking my junior writing capstone since I was a little out of order in my classes from the business-theatre switch). I really just can't wait to be done with this town and this school.... even though I've got no idea what I'm doing after school.

So as for the call I got, it was at 9:30pm on Thursday night.  Why it was at 9:30, I really wasn't sure, but I was quite surprised when I listened to my voice-mail.  So, it was some time during my sophomore year I think when I filled out the information paper for AMDA (The American Music and Dramatic Academy).  I received the packet and was pretty interested in going there, as it's probably one of the best places to go for someone who'd love to be in Musical Theatre, or just acting of some sort.  But they called and said they would want me to audition and I should call the toll-free hot-line to get information.  It's been OVER a YEAR since I filled that thing out. Sure I still get e-mails from them about what's going on every so often. But why would they call me at 9:30 on a Thursday night and say that they wanted me to audition? So now I'm wondering about what I really want to do after I'm done with my current schooling.  And of course if I did decide to audition, what would I even do? There's probably going to be some sort of dance thing (which I'm no good at), and of course monologues and a singing piece. I'd probably be able to do those, but I'd have no idea what they would be looking for, though they'd probably let me know if I called and asked.  How would I prepare, also?

I love theatre. I love performing. I love the arts.  I would love to be on stage doing this every day if I could.  But am I good enough? I really have no idea. I don't really get too much of an opportunity where I currently am. Perhaps that's just my problem. Maybe I'd be able to do better if I were somewhere else.  If I were somewhere that would actually teach me and wasn't really going through a budget crisis.  And if I could convince my parents that this is what I really want to do and that they can't change my mind about it. Well, I'm sure my mom might be more easily persuaded than my father, but I know he'd probably be against it. I know he doesn't approve, and it hurts me.

And blah blah blah blah blah.

I guess I'm done for now. Sorry if there were any typos or bad grammar. It's almost 2am so give me a break, por favor?

Adios.

Current Mood: confused

My mind is slightly retarded. We'll just start out with that I suppose. Though I think calling it retarded isn't the correct term. Just... interesting.  But I tend to think about love, or like, at times.  This will just be part of those random thoughts I've come up with on the topic of love, like, or even crushes. 
It seems that we think a little to much about this topic. And we let it be a little more than it should be. Especially in school, whether it be middle school, high school, or even college.  Sometimes you think you're in love but you realize you aren't.  Sometimes you might really like someone, and a friend likes that person too. Then one of you go out with that guy and your friend gets angry or jealous. Why? Can't you just be happy that your friend is going out with someone that is decent? That situation happened recently, not involving me, but I've heard about it. But it's just a situation that can make others uncomfortable. And why jeopardize a good friendship simply because of a guy?
Then there's the topic of falling for someone. How do you know if you're in love? I suppose there will be some things that give it away, but then there's times when you think you're in love but really aren't.  A lot of the times people aren't ready to know what love is, mentally. Then they think they're in love but really it's lust or your brain being told it's in love when it the heart really isn't in it.
Then, how do you truly know when you're ready for love? That's just a mental thing I suppose. You've got to be mature enough to not only give your heart to someone else, but be able to receive another person's heart. And then you've both got to be able to protect the heart you've been given. Just being able to protect it because you don't want to ever see that person hurt is what you need to feel.
What about those people who haven't had the opportunity to find love? The girl at college who has never even been on a date or had her first kiss? The guy who has always been to shy to ask? Or even a girl who has always been surrounded by guys, but none of them being truly sincere about her feelings? 
The world is full of people, and surely there is someone out there for everyone.  There might even be more than one person out there for everyone. It just depends on who you find first. And then there's the question of what if you never find any of those people you're supposed to be with? That might be a bit sad.  But life, despite seeming short, gives you enough time to find someone. And so life should not be empty, because you'll always have someone there to share feelings and just talk with.  Good friends are always there for you too. 
But anyways, love is just a funny thing. There are a lot of songs written about it. But if all you need is love, then what about when if you don't have love? Well, just find something to keep you feeling happy then.  I suppose you don't need to have the love of another person, but perhaps the love of a friend, your family, some activity, or maybe an animal. 

There's always love out there for you. So go find it.
Hopefully some day I will.
<3

So back in December I said I'd work on getting on here more often... and I'm kind of failing.  Now, I'm taking a class on communication analysis. And for a project, I'm in a group on blogs. So what better way to get experience on that than actually working on my blog again?

So let's see here. For those of you who don't know me and somehow come across this blog, I'll do a little survey thing here as kind of an introduction.

Three Names I go by

1. Alyssa
2. Lyssa
3. Galinda

Three Jobs I have had in my life

1. Working at the cafeteria in high school
2. Sales Assistant at a place that owned several radio stations in town
3. Hostess at the Rainbow Room restaurant at Lake Powell

Three Places I have lived

1. Bakersfield, California
2. Wasco, California
3. Flagstaff, Arizona

Three TV Shows that I watch

1. Supernatural
2. Ghost Hunters
3. House (well, I try)

Three places I have been

1. Wakayama, Japan
2. London, England
3. Calais, France

People that e-mail me regularly

1. Dad (sending those funny e-mail things)
2. Costume Design teacher
3. Disney and it's affiliates.

Three of my favorite foods

1. Pasta
2. Pizza
3. Chocolate

Things I am looking forward to

1. Disneyland this weekend to kick off spring break!
2. Next Tuesday, where I will go to a Dodgers spring training game and then see RENT!
3. Going home, and taking some friends with me!

Favorite things to do

1. Hang out with my friends.
2. Do things on gaiaonline.com
3. Read

Current Location: My Dorm
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Gunpowder and Lead - Miranda Lambert

I have a LJ! How fascinating. xD Apparently I got it like, two years ago and never did anything and just forgot. But now I wanted to take a look on here and realized I have one.

So perhaps I will be doing some more on here in the future.

Maybe I'll do a trip report on my amazing trip to Disneyland I had Sunday and Monday.

Sounds like a plan.

Once I get my pictures uploaded, that is.

Toodles for now~

-Lyssa